I haven’t updated in SO long. But I just felt the need to brag… I scored 20 on my daily Wii Fitness test. YEAH!!!!!!!!!!

This summer has been such a test for me. It’s my second summer since being diagnosed with clinical depression, and really my first summer without meds. Last summer I stopped taking them around May, so their effect still lingered. This year I was put back on meds, although this time it was Prozac rather than Fluvox, but decided I would rather try life out without them. And it’s been hard. Especially the last few weeks. It is a struggle sometimes getting up in the morning, and I just feel really hopeless. But with NYBoy’s support I’m still attempting to move past it!

When we get back to St. Andrew’s we’re ordering a few Depression self-help workbooks off Amazon, so I can take recovery into my own hands because in my experience psychiatrists just medicate the condition and as soon as I’m off them, my mood plunges so dramatically, it is not good.

Some parts of summer have been great despite my switching moods! NYBoy has visited a few times this summer and I have a million and one photos to resize and upload! I’m thinking of adding a gallery to my website because it’s easier to store photos that way. I lost my phone in Thailand though, so that’s a lot of pictures gone. But we got a digital camera the day after so I made up for it when NYBoy made a trip to Brunei.

I really want to revamp this whooollleee website. My cam is my worst enemy when I’m feeling down, so I’m thinking about taking it away completely and just uploading digital cam shots in my posts instead (Yay or nay?) . I want to add a gallery and a couple of new snazzy wordpress plugins if I can find them!

I can’t wait to go back to university.

I got back to Brunei this afternoon, I don’t particularly love Thailand that much but having to say goodbye to NYBoy even for just a few days was so hard.

And I am so bummed out.

Just so you know, I’m back home, safe and sound.

DAY EIGHT TO ELEVEN (Tuesday to Friday)

We continued going round to schools. SO MANY SCHOOLS. Most of which only had a handful of teachers who spoke some English, I say some because it wasn’t fluent but you could tell they were making an effort to communicate. Every single day we left at around 8.30-9ish in the morning, and by about noon the sun was at its hottest and I was so worn out. Despite only having to visit about three schools a day, it took us hours and hours because they were so far out, some of the roads were so bumpy as well which doesn’t help with speed!

At one of the schools, the teachers asked us to stay for lunch at the school canteen and I discovered a new love for Pink Milk as it’s called here, or in Malay speaking countries Bandung. It’s so ridiculously sweet and syrupy but when they fill a whole cup up with crushed ice and then pour it on top - it’s SO good on a hot day.

At every school I had a little survey form to fill in and make notes on, some of the schools were nice and the teachers were just as nice but we went to some pretty bad schools - like one with the kids in TOTAL CHAOS when we walked in, and one where we were greeted, told to wait 15 minutes and then left alone in front of the school (not so hospitable!!). Primary school kids are the cutest though, I manage to walk around relatively unnoticed because I’m Asian, they’re Asian, nothing new… but when NYBoy comes into view they all get so excited! At one of the schools he made a little girl scream by putting his head into the classroom to wave hi to the kids. SO CUTE.

On Friday after all the school visits (thank God, I was sooo pooped) we got a flight to Bangkok for the weekend. My first REAL time in Bangkok because when I flew in I spent only a few hours there and even then it wasn’t in the city, it was closer to the domestic flight airport where we were supposed to get on a flight at a ridiculous early hour to get to Ubon Ratchathani.

The city is so dirty and loud, I was overwhelmed.

We went to dinner with a friend of his dad’s and his girlfriend, whom I’d met before on my last trip over because she’s a friend of NYBoy’s Thai stepmom. Dinner and company were both good, but the walk back was so scary.

Note for future travelers to Bangkok: Cars do not stop for pedestrians.

NYBoy having lived in Bangkok for a while kept insisting we cross at certain times, and me being the little island girl I am, not accustomed to all the hectic traffic, froze like a bunny in headlights. Very very bad person to cross roads with.

DAY TWELVE TO THIRTEEN (Saturday and Sunday)

We went to see NYBoy’s stepmom and little brother Saturday morning, and then a friend from the school he did his TESOL certificate at in Bangkok last year for a lunch feast of Lebanese food in one of Bangkok’s distinct Arab areas. I love Arab food.

After lunch I was set free to window shop as much as I liked! Siam Paragon was my favorite, but everything in there is so expensive - it reminds me a lot of KL Pavilion, but no Forever 21 which is my favorite part of Pavilion I googled “Forever 21 in Bangkok” the night before we flew out, and got nothing back?! I think it’s very weird that they have a couple of stores in Kuala Lumpur, some in Singapore, but have missed out Bangkok? I think Bangkok is a much more tourist populated place than KL.

We visited Siam Discovery and then the legendary MBK. I can see why some would like it, there are so many tiny tiny shops, but most of the stuff was the same in each one and although things were cheap, you get what you pay for and the quality wasn’t anything exceptional.

I spent a solid 8 hours window shopping, okay not ENTIRELY window shopping, I did pick up one or two things…. but mainly window shopping. It did the job though, and by the time we went to the BTS station to get to our steak dinner date with one of NYBoy’s real mom’s friends and his wife, I was famished.

Anyone who knows me at all will know that I love steak.

I felt like such a pig ordering a junior prime rib, NYBoy ordered the same, his mom’s friend ordered a NY cut steak and his wife ordered… a chicken salad. Oh damn, I should have gone for something a little more lady-like than a giant slab of meat. Things only went downhill from there… by the time the steaks came out I was even hungrier than I was when we entered and I ate my entire steak in about 15 minutes flat. I turn to my side and see that NYBoy is only halfway through his steak, his mom’s friend even further behind, and even the chicken salad still present at the dinner table. *PIGGY MOMENT*

Lucky for me, NYBoy thinks my monster appetite is attractive. (What?!)

Sunday was the usual pre-flight routine that I go through on every single trip; frantically packing bags, rushing to the airport and then finding there is actually more than enough time and sitting with nothing to do at the airport. Will I ever learn??

DAY FOURTEEN TO SIXTEEN (Monday to Wednesday)

All of this week so far has been spent inside, me tapping away at my laptop and NYBoy on his, we haven’t been out of the house very much but believe me we are working.

I promise I will fill you guys in on all the details soon enough, but as of now it’s very much a work in progress and I’d like to have something substantial to show before I start publicizing it! It is very very exciting

So I’m in Thailand, and was going to upload a ton of pictures and then realized that the SD card I brought with me (to slot my tiny phone memory card into) doesn’t actually fit into the SD card reader on my laptop… so it’s a total text update for you guys (lucky lucky) until I get home and get all the pictures up as well!

PRE-THAILAND (Monday)

The last day of my internship went painfully slowly, even though the working day ended at 4pm instead of 5pm because it was the eve of the Sultan’s birthday. I spent the whole time cleaning out my desk, checking for things I may have left behind and then rechecking… it was sad saying goodbye to everyone, but I was so excited for the flight the next day that it was a happy/sad goodbye, a really weird mix of feelings to have at once. My mom picked me up at 4 and to celebrate my last day of work we went out and got donuts! NOWHERE in Brunei did decent donuts, in my opinion, until Bakerlyn started up. I love those things. Mainly the hazelnut topped donut…mmmm.

Spent the rest of the night frantically packing, I left it until the very very last minute because I knew that if I had had everything packed a while earlier it would have just made me even more anxious to get on the plane and go. I’d never been to Thailand, and I was so so so excited.

DAY ONE (Tuesday)

Woke up at roughly 6am after having woken up countless times during the night to get ready. It takes me about 30 minutes to get ready most days so I went super duper slow so I wouldn’t have to sit still waiting to go to the airport. I hate waiting for things, it drives me crazy.

Got to the airport on time and checked in pretty much instantly because it was the Sultan’s birthday and there were hardly any people at the airport! The plane was even more empty. I was on the only person on my row. As in, I was in seat XXA and seats B-F were vacant. I flew Royal Brunei Airlines and they gave everyone a piece of chocolate cake with glittery frosting in a cute little box in honor of the Sultan’s big day

Landed in Bangkok and got lost on the way to Immigration and baggage claim because there were two signs 6 feet away from each other with arrows pointing in the opposite direction… later found out that there are two entrances to the baggage claim area and me being me, I went through the entrance that was further away from the belt my baggage came out on.

Bangkok’s international airport was so much more crowded than Brunei’s… but I managed to find NYBoy in the end

Freshened up, got changed, swapped my glasses (flight only!) for my contacts and went out to meet his Thai stepmother and his little brother, who is so cute. We went for dinner and I had my first taste of authentic Thai food at a restaurant with a big pond in the middle with the biggest fish I have ever seen. The restaurant gives you packs of bread which you can feed to the fishies. The funniest thing was that there was one lonely terrapin in the big group of fish who kept getting pushed under, I don’t think he got any of the bread! And after a particularly violent tussle with the other fish, he disappeared. Poor thing.

Our taxi ride back was the scariest taxi ride I have ever been on, the guy was definitely on something and I spent the whole time silently praying that we would actually get back in one piece.

DAY TWO (Wednesday)

Woke up at 4am to catch a 6am domestic flight from Bangkok to Ubon Ratchatani. For a domestic flight it was pretty packed. Got to the tiny “city” which is apparently the biggest “city” in North Eastern Thailand and went straight to sleep.

Woke up at around noon and NYBoy brought me to a local food place with little huts floating on water where they served the strangest food I have ever put into my mouth. We had glutinous rice, whole baby crab (deep fried in some sort of batter), song dam (spelling?), Laos style song dam (HOT!!!!!!!!!!!), fried chicken, deep fried cricket and live baby shrimp.

The live shrimp weirded me out the most, it came in a bowl with another bowl placed upside down on top of it, and as soon as you lifted the upper bowl the shrimp tried jumping for their lives and you had to catch them and put them into your mouth, where they continue jumping until you bite down on them. I felt so guilty.

Then we searched for my Redken shampoo and conditioner, which I am running out of… didn’t really expect to find it in such a small town but it was worth searching for anyway! I can’t believe they have a Boots here and not one in Brunei

I didn’t come to Ubon to shop (obviously, I could have gone to KL for that) but right outside Tesco’s there were all these tiny stalls and I ended up getting three pairs of shorts and a little dress, for almost nothing in British pounds. I know it’s wrong to convert but it takes a lot of the guilt out of my shopping habits!

DAY THREE (Thursday)

My first day of real work. One of the teachers from a nearby area came in a pickup truck to get books for the school she works at and the ones around her. We spent hours looking for books that were relevant, I seriously underestimated how many books there were. They’re all in boxes piled on top of each other, and I had to climb over boxes to look at the boxes behind them. I felt like a monkey and it was so dusty and so hot. I’ve never ever sweated that much in my life.

All worth it though because we got pad thai for lunch and it tasted good

DAY FOUR (Friday)

Took it easy on Friday because searching for books wore me out! Woke up late and went to one of the homestay places for NYBoy’s charity in the neighboring district and visited one of his volunteer’s to see how thing’s were going.

I really admire the people who volunteer to teach for a month in a country they’re unfamiliar with, living with a family who don’t speak fluent English; I don’t think I will ever have it in me to go that far. My limited patience is a big disadvantage.

We had dinner at MK’s, a local steamboat joint. We had almost nothing but mushrooms in ours, and some green noodles and roast duck on the side. My favorite part of dinner was the watermelon shake, which is exactly like watermelon juice back home except ice blended. It was so good.

DAY FIVE (Saturday)

Woke up early for another round of book searching for a teacher from a nearby village! This one took much less time because he was only really looking for primary school level stuff, which there is a LOT of. Had lunch at the same pad thai vendor and then went to Starbucks (they have a Starbucks here?!? WHAT?!?!) for an ice cold frapp. Mmmm.

Books wear me out more than I ever thought they would. The concept of giving out books seems so simple and fuss-free?!
At night we had dinner at a restaurant we found that served non-Asian food. I grew up in Brunei but at home my mom makes more Western food than Asian, so eating Asian food straight for x days makes me feel a little sick The food was good, but again my favorite part was the drinks, they had a green apple shake (basically green apple juice but ice blended), I could get used to these drinks. I wouldn’t mind staying here just for that.

We spent the rest of the night on a mad hunt for water apples; I’m SO SURE they have it in Thailand because the ones they sell at supermarkets back home are imported from here, but we’ve had no such luck.

It was the weekend of the candle festival so there were lots of little food stalls set up everywhere and a sort of carnival as well. We paid to see carcasses of two headed cows and a bodyless boy (but he was just sat in a box with mirrors on all sides, duh) and paid even more to feed sugar cane to an elephant. It was RIGHT in front of me and I didn’t notice it until NYBoy pointed it out.

The elephant was the best part of my whole time in Thailand so far. It was so greedy though. I had five bags of sugar cane, each containing about 10 pieces and it ate them all in like 5 minutes. When I stopped to find another piece it would poke me with its trunk impatiently. But it was still cute

DAY SIX (Sunday)

Woke up late, and had chicken rice for lunch which is almost exactly like the chicken rice I have at Thien Thien’s back home, except they serve it here with a sweet/sour/spicy sauce with chilli’s in it.

We found another potentially good eatery, which we assumed was foreign owned because it was called Tony’s (is Tony a thai name? I dunno…) so we tried it out. They had mostly desserts, cakes and pastries and fruit smoothies, nothing special but it seems like its the only one of its kind in this part of Thailand. We sat outside with cream puffs, white chocolate cake and a butter coffee cake and savoured what would be our last free day for the next week, because school visits were to start on Monday.

Came home and watched Dark Water, I’d seen it ages ago but forgot what it was like. It was pretty cheesy.

DAY SEVEN (Monday) 

Up at 6.30am (what kind of relaxed summer trip is this?!?!) and out the door by 7.20am, unshowered but changed and teeth brushed. Went to the temple where the books are stores and loaded the truck with 40 boxes. It really didn’t make much difference to the big pile of books being stored, I think the pile gets bigger when we’re not looking…

We went to three schools outside of the “city” and handed out books and assessed them for future volunteers. The last school took ages to find so we let NYBoy’s Thai step-grandfather drive the truck while we napped in the back. When we got to the school there was no one there, apparently they’d let out for the day (but it was only two?), we dropped the books off anyway and climbed back into the back of the truck and napped the whole way home.

I kept waking up because the sun was beating down on us so hard, I thought I would melt. I kept trying to cover NYBoy’s face as well everytime I woke up because he’s not brown like me, and white skin burns (not attractive).

By the time we got home I was drenched in sweat and the idea of a shower without water heating, a thought that made me cringe a little when I first arrived, sounded soooo good. I’m getting used to showering without an actual shower, but instead a small bucket in a larger bucket of water that you just pour on yourself. It’s really not that bad when you get used to it.

I was so hot, and so dehydrated, even after the cold shower that I desperately needed a Starbucks frapp. The people there recognize me by now, by name and everything, I feel so loved.

We went to local food vendors for dinner and just bought stuff to bring home with us because NYBoy’s Thai step-grandfather is staying the night because we have more schools to visit tomorrow and only he knows the way!

Now it’s roughly 9.30, and I am so tired out.

The work here is much much harder than my internship in Brunei in terms of actual exertion, but it’s also a lot more enjoyable - because I know that I’m actually doing something useful with my time?

I promise there will be lots of pictures to accompany the very very lengthy updates when I get home. I still have another 2 weeks in Thailand, so I’ll keep you updated!

Lots of love.

I want this SO BADLY.

My webcam quality is so poo.